Success in a Family

 Hello Everyone!

A question that I have had is, how do we measure success in a family unit. Is there some sort of achievement or event that measures the success? Can you succeed in a family and then later on fail? These have all been thoughts that I have had in the last few months and I have slowly been coming to a conclusion that is bringing peace to my mind. 

First of all, I do not believe there should be some sort of expectation of material achievements that measures success in a family. In my opinion that puts significant amounts of stress on the people who are striving to achieve those goals. What achievement in this world could measure the success of multiple people in a family that would be reflective of all of their lives? I cannot think of any award or achievement that could fill that description. One thing that I have learned this past week, that supports my previous hypothesis of the failure of materialistic achievements bringing success, is that money doesn't necessarily mean happiness or success in a family. The value of money and wealth is so high in our culture and world today. This high standard of wealth is so important that many people often will associate their money and the work they do to obtain that money, as a major part of their identity. Some even associate their occupation and money with their whole identity. But, as I said, I do not believe this is an accurate and effective way to succeed. 

So, if we can not achieve success through materialistic achievement, how do we reach this success? Honestly, there are probably many things that could influence this success but there are a few that I learned this week that I would like to share. First, I learned that the father's influence in a child's life is just as necessary as a mother's influence. Sometimes we can see a father take a step back in parenting and nurturing, especially when a child is very young. This could be caused by cultural expectations of men and their roles as a father or mothers wanting to take the majority of the responsibility. We learned though, that a father's influence when a child is young can have a positive effect on their relationship with the child as they grow older. I also learned this week that a family at times is better off when there is only one income in a family unit. Now, this may seem backward at first but I will describe this more in-depth. Often families may be struggling with money or want to have more money for various things in their families. This often results in a mother going to work. This second income, while it may bring in more money hypothetically, often gets lost in extra costs that come from the mother going to work. The family will often have to pay for new things that are associated with this new job. There was a research project that analyzed a family in which the mother started to go to work to bring home more money. As they analyzed the data on this family's finances, they found that there actually ended up being an equal amount of money brought home as if the mother had not gone into the workplace. So having a parent at home could potentially influence the success of a family unit. 

I think the biggest conclusion that I have come to regarding success with the family is that love is maybe the best measure of success. If everyone in the family can know that there is love to be had from each member for the other then that may be enough. I don't have kids but I do believe this concept of unconditional love is the biggest thing that I'd like to teach my kids.