Transitions into Marriage

 Hello everyone!

This week I learned more about the transitions that can happen when a couple is married. There are specific adjustments and steps that often happen in the first few months of marriage. Those adjustments, whether expected or unexpected can also happen one year into the marriage as well. I am not married but I imagine that throughout major milestones and changes in marriage, there will be adjustments that need to happen. One major milestone in a marriage could be a child entering the family. This has the potential to completely change the dynamic of the husband and wife because of the new commitments to the child. When a child leaves the home it may take adjustments for the husband and wife as well.

Some examples of adjustments that have to be made during the first month of marriage included: sharing the same space, eating habits, budgeting, sleeping habits, cleanliness, spirituality, communication styles. There are many more but these were specific examples that I found interesting and benefitial to understand. Communication and accomadations seem to be the biggest thing when considering these new adjustments with marriage. It will be important to communicate about the conflicts that are new in marriage. These conflicts are not necessarily a bad thing, they are just new situations that neither partner has encountered before. Because they are new to both people, it will be so important to have a good constructive talk about those conflicts. I also learned that accomodating is an important aspect when considering these new adjustmenets. Accomodations could also be considered as compromise. It seems that it will be very important to understand that each partner has past experience of how they have lived and they may think their way is the most effective and right way to do things. Compromise or making accomodations can show love and respect for the other person. It shows that you respect what they care about while still understanding that your way of doing things may not be also the best way. 

I also learned that in the first month and year of marriage, a couple often needs to learn who is going to play what role in the marriage. A couple will need to discuss who will be working or going to school, who will be in charge of finances or will it be a mutual effort. There are more roles that often are talked and found through those first few months and year of marriage. Many of these things can also be talked about before a couple is married. The phase of engagement is an amazing period of time for a couple to discuss some of these things before they even are married. I feel that some things can not be fully decided until the couple is married and living together, but there are things like finances, cleanliness, parenting styles, and others that can be talked about hypothetically during engaegment. Communication is so important. From what I learned this week, communication has such a major role in if a marriage will be successful and happy. Communications through these transitioning stages in marriage and even before marriage makes such a big difference. I believe that communication is a way to connect one person to the other in the relationship. You are not worrying as much about yourself and if you are happy, rather you are wanting your partner and yourself to be happy. There is a trend in the culture today that is encouraging working on yourself. To achieve this work on yourself, you almost have to isolate yourself in a way to give yourself what you think is necessary for you to be happy. While I do believe it is important to be aware of you own happiness, I believe someone's happiness has a lot to do with the relationships they have in thier life. When you are focused on others and their happiness it really can help you feel more happy. This will come into play with marriage as well as during the dating and engagement phases before marriage. Communication is key through transitions in life especially when you are involving the people you love.